Men are Less likely to Seek Psychotherapy or Counselling than Women

Men are More Reluctant to Seek Psychotherapy and Counselling help than Women

In a recent article published in the BACP’s monthly magazine, ‘Therapy today’, Colin Penning writes, “Many people think men’s emotional literacy and ability to articulate their feelings is less than that of women. The question then is, do these assumptions about men reflect a stereotype or a reality? This was the question that Relate and the Men’s Health Forum set out to explore in their new report Try to See it My Way.

We know that men are more reluctant than women to seek support and advice when relationships run into difficulties. Far fewer men use telephone advice and helpline services. We also know that men are less likely to access counselling services generally. Men make up just 36 per cent of referrals to the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) programme. They are also under-represented in relationship support services: just 44 per cent of Relate’s clients are men.

So why can’t (or won’t) men seek help for emotional problems? The first and most obvious answer is that men are socialised not to admit to vulnerability, which is a prerequisite of securing help. The second is that maybe we aren’t offering the kind of support that men can relate to and that they find helpful.

The report suggests work is a key factor. Men’s tendency to work longer hours can cause relationship problems and conflicts around the life–work balance; financial difficulties can increase pressure on the man, who is often still the primary breadwinner in the family.

One of the key findings of the report is that men and women have very different approaches to communication. Insights generated by two focus groups of Relate counsellors found that men have a tendency to want to ‘solve problems’ while women want to discuss change and understand why things have happened. So men are coming to counselling with unrealistic expectations.

But the Relate counsellors told us that men may have become more open to the idea of relationship counselling in recent years. And they told us there may be things we can do to reach out to and engage men in taking better care of their own emotional health.

Our report makes a series of recommendations. Some are to national Government around raising men’s awareness of the importance of emotional health and making personal, social and health education a statutory requirement in schools. ”

Admitting to finding things difficult and seeking help is not a weakness. The therapists at The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice have many years experience working through issues presented by male patients in order to discover what lies at the root of their difficulties.

The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice is found at 121 Harley Street, London.

Boredom can be Explored with Psychotherapy and Counselling

Self Destructive Behaviour can be the Result of Boredom and can be Explored with Psychotherapy and Counselling

Dr John Eastwood, a psychologist at York University, Toronto and joint author of ‘The Unengaged Mind’, a major new paper on the theory of boredom believes that boredom, although common, is neither trivial nor benign.

Boredom, he points out, has been associated with increased drug and alcohol abuse, overeating, depression and anxiety, and an increased risk of making mistakes. Although mistakes at work may not have dire consequences for most of us, for people with jobs such as air controllers or pilots, boredom leading to the lack of concentration can be very serious.

In his report, Eastwood states boredom to be “the aversive experience of wanting, but being unable, to engage in satisfying activity.” He further states, “All instances of boredom involve a failure of attention, and attention is what you are using now to blot out the plethora of stimuli around you while you focus awareness on a given topic.”

Attention involves three functions:

1. One has to be suitably aroused so as not to fall asleep

2. We have an orientation system that can cut in. e.g. you can still respond to movement in the corner of your eye if a car approaches as you cross the road

3. We have an executive system that oversees our mental activity so that we can stay engaged even if the task is not interesting

Boredom occurs when any of these functions break down.

As an innevitable experience, boredom can be seen as positive. Dr Esther Priyadharshini a senior lecturer in education at the University of East Anglia, says “We can’t avoid boredom. It’s an inevitable human emotion. We have to accept it as legitimate and find ways it can be harnessed. We all need downtime, away from the constant bombardment of stimulation. There’s no need to be in a frenzy of activity at all times.” She claims that it can stimulate creativity as a signal for change.

However, for some it may not have such positive outcomes. Those who have suffered extreme trauma are more likely to complain of boredom than others. It is thought that this is because the person emotionally shuts down, thereby finding it harder to work out what they need. They may be left with free-floating desire, without knowing what to pin it on. This lack of emotional awareness is known as alexithymia and can affect anyone.

Frustrated dreamers who have not realised their goals can expend all their emotional energy on hating themselves or the world, and find they have no attention left for anything else. Bungee jumpers and thrill-seekers may also be particularly susceptible to boredom, as they feel the world is not moving fast enough for them. They constantly need to top up their high levels of arousal and are always searching for stimulation from their environment.

Eastwood states that, “Boredom isn’t a nice feeling, so we have an urge to eradicate it and cope with it in a counterproductive way. This may be what drives people to destructive behaviours such as gambling, overeating, alcohol and drug abuse, though research is needed to tease out whether there’s a direct causal link”.

“The problem is we’ve become passive recipients of stimulation. “We say, ‘I’m bored, so I’ll put on the TV or go to a loud movie.’ But boredom is like quicksand: the more we thrash around, the quicker we’ll sink.”

Psychotherapy and Counselling is a useful way to explore self destructive behaviour patterns that could be the result of boredom. The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice, comprising three female therapists can be found at 121 Harley Street, London.

Psychotherapy Support for Actors

Research Shows Psychological Vulnerability in Actors

A recent study by California State University looked at the psychology of the sort of people who choose to become actors. The results imply that these people tend to be imaginative but also emotionally vulnerable.

Paula Thomson and S. Victoria Jaque wrote in the Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity and the Arts journal that “Our study adds to the body of research that suggests there is a psychological cost for participants engaged in the creative arts”.

Their study looked at 41 professional actors living in Cape Town. Toronto and Los Angeles and compared them with people from other artistic groups such as athletes and art lovers.

What they discovered was that, “Even though there was no difference between the two groups for past traumatic events, more actors were unable to maintain narrative coherence when discussing memories of past trauma and loss.” The actors struggled when attempting to discuss past traumas which the researchers felt suggested that they find it harder to resolve these traumas.

The researchers illustrated how the actors had an increased ability to “remain engaged, regulated and coherent during the interview process”, however, they were also more likely to show signs of confusion, prolonged silence or “unsuccessful failures to deny a traumatic or loss event”. Thomson and Jaque argue that this suggests “a greater vulnerability for psychological distress”.

Thomson and Jaque give a note of caution to those thinking of an acting career in therapeutic terms: “Actors may have enhanced their imagination through the practice of acting or they may have entered a career that supports their heightened predisposition for fantasy.”

For those who do choose to become actors, there is psychological support available in the form of talking therapies such as psychotherapy and counselling. This can help develop an understanding of past traumas and resolve feelings surrounding them.

The psychotherapists at The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice on London’s Harley Street, work with people of all backgrounds, including members of the performing arts who struggle with emotional and psychological problems.

Alcohol Dependency Linked to Mental Health Disorders

Psychotherapy Support for Alcohol Dependency

Research performed in Australia and published in the British Journal of Psychiatry showed that people diagnosed with mental health issues such as depression, bipolar or anxiety disorders are more likely to become dependent upon alcohol.

Data taken from the 2007 Australian Mental Health and Well Being Survey that looked at 8841 participants illuminated some worrying trends. Those participants diagnosed with depression within the last five years were five times more likely to develop alcohol dependency than the general population. Those diagnosed with bipolar were seven times more likely to become dependent and those with anxiety disorders were three times more likely.

Lead researcher, Dr. Wenbin Liang said, “Our study shows that patients with a pre-existing diagnosis of affective and anxiety disorders are at higher risk of alcohol use problems. It shows that we should view mental health disorders as a risk factor for future alcohol misuse and alcohol dependence”.

The therapists at The Harley Street Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice have experience working with alcohol dependency issues as a part of other mental health problems. They work with you to help understand why alcohol has become an important but worrying part of life.

The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice is found at 121, Harley Street, London.

Psychotherapy for Professional’s Hidden Addictions

As Professional’s Struggle with Hidden Addiction, Psychotherapy is an Important Step Forward

At an international conference in Ireland this weekend, attention was drawn to the increasing problem of alcohol and substance abuse amongst professionals, particularly those in health care. These professionals function at very high levels which often belies the fact that they are resorting to addictive behaviour to maintain this high functioning.

Research has suggested that 15-24% of lawyers suffer from alcoholism at some time during their career, whilst the BMA (British Medical Association) estimates that one in fifteen health care professionals develop an addiction problem whilst doctors are three times more likely to develop cirrhosis of the liver due to drinking than the general population.

This worrying progression came to light partly due to the increase in ‘rehab tourism’, the process of professionals seeking help abroad for their addictions in order to keep others around them from finding out.

One spokes person from a substance abuse clinic in Thailand stated, “We are seeing a lot of professionals coming in, particularly from London. In Britain absolutely there is a silent mass of professionals who are functioning, in terms of that they haven’t lost everything, but they are in workplaces where you really wouldn’t want them to be”.

The stigma still attached to addiction and the shame felt by the sufferers often prevents them taking action to deal with their difficulties, such as consulting their GP or seeing a psychotherapist or counsellor.

In an interview in The Observer, Rory O’Conner, the UK co-ordinator of health support programs for dentists and veterinary surgeons said , “Health professionals are generally not good at seeking help for themselves, mainly because they see it very much as their role to help others. There is also immense shame, a stigma still attached to a perceived weakness like addiction”.

The reasons for the increase in addiction amongst this group can be varied. There could be a drinking or drugs culture within the working environment that is overlooked by the organisation. The stress of the job itself may cause a person to turn to substances to help them cope. This can be exacerbated if the sufferer feels unable to turn to their peers or family for help due to shame, being seen as weak or fearing the security of their job.

Seeking help from a psychotherapist or counsellor is an important step towards dealing with addiction. The psychotherapists at The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice have successfully worked with professionals suffering from addiction. They provide a safe and confidential space in which to explore what lies behind the addictive behaviour and offer non judgemental support and insight.

The three psychotherapists at The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice work from their Clinic at 121, Harley Street, London.

Internet Addiction, Depression and Psychotherapy

Internet Addiction has been linked to Depression. Psychotherapy can Intervene

Research performed by British psychologists at Leeds University have found evidence of a link between excessive internet use and depression. In their psychology journal they say that people within a small group categorised as internet addicts are more likely to be depressed than those not considered to be addicted.

Their research using a questionaire based study and the Beck Depression Inventory and involving 1319 young people and adults reported that of those who took part 1.4% were internet addicts.

Dr. Catriona Morrison, the lead author of the article regarding this research said, “Our research indicates that excessive internet use is associated with depression, but what we don’t know is which comes first – are depressed people drawn to the internet or does the internet cause depression?”. “What is clear is that, for a small subset of people, excessive use of the internet could be a warning signal for depressive tendencies.”

The age range of all participants was between 16 and 51 years, with a mean age of 21.24. The mean age of the internet addicts was 18.3 years and 70% of them were men.

They also discovered that addicts spent proportionately more time browsing sexually gratifying websites, online gaming sites and online communities.

“This study reinforces the public speculation that over-engaging in websites that serve to replace normal social function might be linked to psychological disorders like depression and addiction,” Morrison said.

She goes on to say, “We now need to consider the wider societal implications of this relationship and establish clearly the effects of excessive internet use on mental health”.

Internet addiction is a serious issue for the modern age. It can have detrimenntal effects upon one’s relationships and therefore effect all walks of life, work, social, family etc.

At The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice on Harley Street in London, the therapists have worked with sufferers of addiction in order to help them gain a better understanding of what lies behind it and support them as they work through it.

Internet Porn Addiction: Can Psychotherapy Help?

Psychotherapists Might Consider 10 Hours p.w. Too Much

Internet Porn Addiction: A Quarter of Men Surveyed Worried About the Amount of Porn they are watching.

A recent survey carried out by the Tavistock and Portman clinic, revealed that 25% of men believe they are viewing too much porn. The ease at which porn can be viewed at no cost, may be the key to the rise in the amount being watched.  4% of men surveyed said they were watching more than 10 hours of porn per week – a rate that therapists at The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice in London would consider problematic.

“Someone watching ten hours of porn per week could be heading towards compulsive and addictive behaviour” says Rebecca Barrie, psychotherapist at the Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice.   “It’s likely that someone who’s watching that amount of porn could be struggling in other areas of their lives. It would almost certainly be affecting their sexual relationships – influencing their sexual behaviour, it might also be causing concern in other ares of their lives – work might begin to suffer.

When use of porn is compulsive and the individual continues to engage in it despite negative consequecies in realtionships or other areas of life, addiction may be setting in.

It might be important for those who feel their casual use of porn is escalating to reassess their use,  and ask themselves why they are needing to escape into the fantasy worlds that porn sites provide.

Counselling and psychotherapy can provide an excellent support for anyone who is concerned about their use of porn.  The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice in London offers descrete, confidential and professional psychotherapy to those looking to explore their compulsions or addictions.

The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice is based in Harley Street, Central London.

Psychotherapy as an Intervention Before Addiction

Psychotherapy and Counselling can help with Addiction before it becomes a Real Problem


People who become addicted to something, whether its drinking, shopping, gambling or any other form of addiction, often say that they did not notice their dependence upon these things creeping up on them.

There are many reasons why a person may start these behaviours; a way to relax, better economic circumstances, treating ones self, socialising or just fun. All these are very valid reasons but the problems arise when partaking in these ‘recreational’ pursuits becomes habitual and the thought of not having them in ones life becomes unthinkable.

Life can then start to revolve around the addiction instead of the drinking, gambling etc being just a part of life.

A person can become defensive or secretive about this behaviour which can result in isolation and loneliness. They become dependant upon the addiction to get them through stressful and difficult situations.

Only feeling relaxed with a drink in your hand, or feeling more comfortable being online than being with friends, spending lots of time thinking about and planning your next gambling session or shopping trip, mood changes, sleeping more or less than usual, secretiveness and lying can be signs of an over dependence upon something and a journey towards addiction.

However, it is often found that addiction to something is a symptom of more deep seated emotional difficulties, about which the addicted person may not be aware. The addictive behaviour allows the person to feel better for some time, but if the real cause of the persons unhappiness is not explored and confronted, the feelings of happiness gained by the addictive behaviour can become less satisfying and so the person may drink more, shop more, gamble more, take more drugs, in order to keep trying to numb the unhappiness.

Psychotherapy and Counselling with the professional therapists at The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice in London can help you intervene in this behaviour before it becomes an addiction. Your psychotherapist will explore with you the difficult feelings and emotions that lie beneath the behaviour so that you gain a better understanding of why you are becoming addicted in order for you to make healthy changes and arrest the problem before it escalates.

Sex Addiction Officially Recognised as a Mental Health Disorder

The American manual of psychological disorders, the DSM  (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorder) has, for the first time, included sex addiction as a mental health disorder. The Manual, published by the American Psychiatric Association is the book used by clinicians to define and identify the types and thresholds of mental health problems. The inclusion of sex addiction in the book coincides with the increase numbers of people coming to psychotherapy and counselling at The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice, presenting  with  problems relating to sexual compulsion.

Sex addiction can be as destructive as other common addictions, breaking relationships apart, destroying careers and the lives of those for whom sexual compulsion becomes out of control. It is no coincidence that sexual addiction is becoming recognised now, as the internet is increasingly impacting upon our lives. Porn, escorts and dating are a single click away from us all – making moves into the, often anonymous, sexual arena very easy.

Psychotherapy or counselling can help those with sexual addiction or compulsion. At The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice, the therapists are experienced at working with sexual addiction and help sufferers find the root cause of their problems and help them move forward with new understanding and behaviours. The counsellors and psychotherapists at the Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice are professional, non judgemental and offer their patients a confidential and supportive environment. The Psychotherapy Practice is in Harley Street, Central London.

Women’s Mental Health Crisis and Psychotherapy

Women are struggling with Depression and Anxiety


Platform 51, formally The Young Women’s Christian Association have recently done a study of more than 2000 women and girls in England and Wales that showed that almost a third of women over 18 have taken anti depressants.

13% of women experiencing mental health difficulties have had to give up their jobs, whilst 44% have taken time off work.

An NHS report showed that about 12% of men showed evidence of a common mental health disorder, such as depression or anxiety whilst the percentage for women was 20%.

In order to cope with these difficult emotions, women are turning to potentially damaging behaviour, such as isolating themselves from their friends and family. More than a quarter in the study drank regularly and too much, one in five had built up debt and one in ten had self harmed (this percentage rose to 35% of women between the ages of 18 and 24). 30% had been emotionally or physically abused and one in four admitted to having felt suicidal as a result. However, one in three women have never sought professional help. Those who did seek support felt that their doctors were too willing to prescribe drugs and not suggest alternative means of support, such as psychotherapy or counselling.

A spokesperson from Platform 51 said, “Our study reveals generations of women in crisis…women are often the linchpins of their families and their communities, and if three in five of them aren’t meeting their potential, they loose out, their family looses out and so does the wider society”.

Psychotherapy and counselling provided by a professional psychotherapist can help someone struggling with depression and anxiety find out what lies behind these overwhelming feelings. The Cavendish Psychotherapy Practice, based in Harley Street in London provides a safe and non judgemental space for you to look into your emotional world, gaining a better understanding of it and thereby empowering you to take control over it.